June 02, 2011

Have You SSSsssseeen Me?

WALL-E and the King Snake


Listen up, ladies and gentlemen. Our fugitive has been on the run for 30 hours . Average slithering speed over carpet and stairs barring injuries is 2 miles an hour. But he is likely too large to squeeze under weatherstripped doors and windows, he is likely still in the house somewhere.  What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every obscured corner, couch, closet, open box, plastic bin, bathroom and cat box in that area. Checkpoints go up at each room. Your fugitive's name is Crispin the Kingsnake. Go get him.

Dear lord, please let us find him. We tore up our room and took everything apart last night ,but no luck. I fed him at 10pm on Tuesday night and I must have not latched the top on both sides.
We tore up everything in a 3-room radius that was on the ground, or reachable by him last night .I've been meaning to clean out our room, but not like this. 

As you can imagine, it took a little convincing to get the night-nurse to stay last night, given the circumstances. I told her "Honestly, this is the ONE place in the house that we can conclusively say that the snake IS NOT. Here's a towel, you can put it under the door once you close it. But this guy has been trying to escape for three years, so I don't think he'd be sticking around here."  Eventually, she agreed, amid some nervous laughter.

He's a reclusive little thing, so he'll likely hole up for a few days until he gets hungry again.

And I know that's not the most comforting thought.

No comments:

Post a Comment