February 23, 2007

LinkNews Digest [02/23/2007]

Rogue Squirrel Grounds Airliner

ust when the squirrel menace looked like it might have faded away, an American Airlines flight from Tokyo has been forced to make an emergency landing in Honolulu because a rogue squirrel had managed to sneak on board.

The squirrel emergency was discovered when, on the flight from Tokyo to Dallas, the pilots heard what has been described as a 'skittering'noise in the space above the cockpit. Subsequent investigations revealed that the noise was caused by an insurgent squirrel that had somehow managed to board the flight.

The plane was forced to make a quick landing in Honolulu, Hawaii, as the pilots were worried that the squirrel could severely damage the plane by chewing through wiring. (LINK )

Honda Admits to "Overclocking" Odometers

If you've been wondering how your Honda or Acura just seems to cover ground an awful lot quicker than your previous ride without even getting you a speeding ticket, listen up.

Apparently, around six million Honda / Acura owners have been wheeling around in vehicles that are clicking off miles quite a bit faster than they're actually being driven. The Society of Automotive Engineers' voluntary standard for fluctuation in an odometer "is plus or minus 4-percent," and strangely enough, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration doesn't even regulate it. Honda claims that its units were "accurate to within 3.75-percent" on the high side, but a lawsuit against them claims that's just a bit too close for the average consumer's well-being.

The automaker will be shelling out over $6 million in overcharges for leasers who were unfairly penalized for exceeding the agreed upon mileage, and will also extend the warranty mileage five-percent. Of course, Honda has since tightened up its standards (read: fixed the programming bug), purportedly "aiming for zero" in regard to future error, but if you happen to own a Honda / Acura purchased between April of 2002 and November of last year (or a select '07 Honda Fit), these benefits should be coming your way pending a district court judgment on the settlement.(LINK )

Cultish Miami Pastor Claims to BE God

MIAMI, Florida (CNN) -- The minister has the number 666 tattooed on his arm. But Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda is not your typical minister. De Jesus, or "Daddy" as his thousands of followers call him, does not merely pray to God: He says he is God. "The spirit that is in me is the same spirit that was in Jesus of Nazareth," de Jesus says.

De Jesus' claims of divinity have angered Christian leaders, who say he is a fake. Religious experts say he may be something much more dangerous, a cult leader who really believes he is God. "He's in their heads, he's inside the heads of those people," says Prof. Daniel Alvarez, a religion expert at Florida International University who has debated some of de Jesus' followers. "De Jesus speaks with a kind of conviction that makes me consider him more like David Koresh or Jim Jones."

The church that he began building 20 years ago in Miami resembles no other:
  • Followers have protested Christian churches in Miami and Latin America, disrupting services and smashing crosses and statues of Jesus.
  • De Jesus preaches there is no devil and no sin. His followers, he says, literally can do no wrong in God's eyes.
  • The church calls itself the "Government of God on Earth" and uses a seal similar to the United States.

    And what about the tattoo of 666 on his arm? Although it's a number usually associated with Satan, not the son of God, de Jesus says that 666 and the Antichrist are, like him, misunderstood. The Antichrist is not the devil, de Jesus tells his congregation; he's the being who replaces Jesus on Earth.

    "Antichrist is the best person in the world," he says. "Antichrist means don't put your eyes on Jesus because Jesus of Nazareth wasn't a Christian. Antichrist means do not put your eyes on Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Put it on Jesus after the cross." And de Jesus says that means him.(LINK )
  • Storing Disney Data in Living Organisms

    Every type of storage media -- from stone to paper to magnetic disks -- is subject to destruction. From the great fire that destroyed Alexandria's world-class library in 48 B.C. to that unfortunate hard drive crash last week, information has had a habit of suddenly disappearing because the media that contains it succumbs to the forces of nature.

    Researchers from Pacific Northwest National Laboratory are tapping forces of nature to store information more permanently.

    The researchers used artificial DNA sequences to encode portions of the text of the children's song It's a Small World, added the sequences to bacteria DNA, allowed the bacteria to multiply, then extracted the message part of a DNA strand and retrieved the encoded information.

    Because DNA is passed down through generations of living organisms, information stored this way should survive for as long as the line of organisms survives, said Pak Wong, a chief scientist at the Pacific Northwest National Laboratory.

    Storing information is DNA's natural function, said Wong. "We [are] taking advantage of a time-tested, natural, nanoscale data storage technology perfected over the last 3 billion years." The encoding method could be used to store any digital information, he said. "Text, pictures, music -- anything you can send or receive over the Web could be saved in this form." (LINK )

    Boy Jailed, Charged with Felony for Slingshot

    After spending nearly 72 hours in an Ocala juvenile jail, the 11-year-old Lake County boy detained for his 'deadly' makeshift slingshot returned home to his parents Tuesday night.

    Kevin Cottle said he didn't deliberately try to hit another student at Tavares Middle School with his home-made slingshot. He said that he shot the pellet at a locker and the projectile ricocheted and hit the other student. 'I wasn't trying to hit him. It was an accident to shoot him,' he said soon after he was released from the Marion Regional Juvenile Detention Center Tuesday night. 'I just want to say I'm sorry.'

    The sixth-grader at Tavares Middle was arrested Friday when he was accused of using a toy balloon slingshot to hit another student in the chest. He faces second-degree felony charges of shooting or throwing a deadly missile.

    A Lake County judge ordered Kevin released from the juvenile detention center on Tuesday afternoon and placed him in home confinement in Tavares until his case is resolved. Kevin isn't allowed around the student he is accused of harming.

    That boy suffered a welt when a plastic pellet from Kevin's slingshot struck him, according to a Lake County Sheriff's Office report. Kevin fashioned the slingshot from a stretchy balloon, a plastic milk jug top and rubber bands, officials said.

    But Kevin's mother, Pam Cottle, said authorities overreacted, charging her son with a felony and locking him up in an Ocala facility with violent children. 'We just want the correct punishment,' she said. 'We'll accept community service, go to teen court, whatever the case may be -- but we do want the charges changed.'(LINK )

    Pizza Hut Spokesmodel Jessica Simpson Allergic to Pizza

    You know... it's not that we require that every celebrity constantly use the product they're shilling for, but we'd like to think that the spokesperson is able to eat the food without getting sick. Jessica Simpson, spokesperson for Pizza Hut and star of their commercials, told Elle magazine:
    There was that internal bleeding discovered last year around the time she was filming Employee of the Month; doctors found the presence of the little bugger thought to cause ulcers. Recently, Simpson tells me, after she was still feeling not quite right, an allergist delivered news that would chill the heart of anyone reared on Texan cuisine: She's allergic to cheese. And wheat. Oh, and tomatoes...
    Cheese and tomatoes and wheat? Yes, Jessica Simpson has ulcers, and pizza gives her internal bleeding. (LINK )

    February 22, 2007

    UK and Iraq

    Prince Harry to serve in Iraq

    Blair Announces Start of UK Pullout of Iraq

    Is it just me, or could these two headlines be somehow related? Just a thought. It smacks of Michael Moore asking senators who voted for the war to enlist their children.

    February 20, 2007

    George Bush is NOT George Washington

    Yesterday, our esteemed leader celebrated Presidents Day by comparing the war in Iraq with the American Revolution of 1776.
    Standing before the Mount Vernon mansion and sharing the stage with an actor dressed as Gen. George Washington, Bush said Washington's Revolutionary War leadership inspired generations of Americans "to stand for freedom in their own time."

    "Today, we're fighting a new war to defend our liberty and our people and our way of life. And as we work to advance the cause of freedom around the world, we remember that the father of our country believed that the freedoms we secured in our revolution were not meant for Americans alone," Bush said.

    Just a few points of rebuttal on this:

    First and foremost, let's look at this for what it really is: George Bush is declaring his baseless Crusade in Iraq to be as necessary and patriotic as America's fight for independence. And in doing so, he is comparing himself to "The Big G", George Washington. Washington was a military man who was in the thick of it with his troops, which included freezing his ass off and starving at Valley Forge. Bush was a fratboy who begged his daddy to get him assigned to planes that were going out of service. Bush Jr. probably logged more actual flight time in his publicity stunt landing on that aircraft carrier to declare "Mission Accomplished!"

    And as for comparing them as leaders? Let's not even go there.

    Second and more important is the fact that yes, the current war in Iraq IS like the American Revolution, just not how Bush wants to paint it. Back in 1776, WE were the ones hiding in the bushes and carrying out the terrorist attacks. Remember the glorious tales of American Patriots bombing arms shipments to the British, and dumping tea into the Boston Harbor? How is that different than bombing the USS Cole and attacking coalition supply lines, exactly? Nothing but the side that we were on.

    In the Iraq War today, we have more in common with the British side during the American Revolution. Today, Americans are the ones marching up and down the streets while the rebels are sniping them from the woods. Today, Americans are pouring billions of dollars into the country to cheaply secure a sought-after export, only it's Oil today instead of Tea & textiles. And someday soon, we will withdraw from the country due to the outstanding cost of the war and due to public opposition at home, just as the British did.

    We were right in sending troops to Afghanistan to root out Bin Laden, but Bush's greed, lies and incompetence led us into Iraq. Because we had to move major military operations out of Afghanistan to secure Bush's dream of "Big Oil's Discount Pipeline" in Iraq, Afghanistan has become destabilized. We took out the warlords that were in charge and then pulled out, leaving a power vacuum just waiting to be fought over and claimed by new warlords.

    Quick quiz: What's an even bigger money-maker for buying weapons and financing terrorism than Oil? The answer is Opium, and Afghanistan's opium crops broke all records in 2006, reaching all-time high levels (*Washington Post). And it's better than Oil in the fact that it's renewable. Due to the demand spike, Opium production grew 26% just in the last year and now accounts for almost a third of Afghanistan's Gross Domestic Product, which is DOUBLE the amount it was before we invaded. This is all thanks to America's sloppy once-over in that country before heading out for the more PR-friendly "Operation Iraqi Freedom".

    I'm no fan of mass-murdering dictators, few Americans are. But the only reason we should go into a country to depose a dictator is if you can provide the people with a better life. The Press reports show that we're winning because Iraq has elections and women can now wear pants in most places without being shot on sight. What they don't show is that we have yet to provide stable electricity, drinkable water and sustainable food supplies in the country. Add to this that all the jobs that the Iraqi people once held have been given to government contracting companies like Haliburton and Blackwater, so most of the people can't work to provide for their families anymore.

    President Bush's comparison of the war in Iraq to the American Revolution is nothing short of blasphemous. The Revolution was about creating a nation and uniting people under a single government, in order to provide for all the American people. The Iraqi quagmire is the pillaging of another nation and sucking it dry. It's war profiteering gone mad, all made up to be a struggle for freedom against tyrrany, when we're only peddling another form of it.

    February 16, 2007

    LinkNews Digest [02/16/2007]

    "Mountains of Trash" in Car Cause Crash

    Police in West Yarmouth said there was so much trash in 53-year-old Ann Ann Biglan's Ford Focus that some of it fell onto the gas and brake pedals, causing her to lose control.

    While losing control, Biglan drove through a post office parking space, over the curb and across a freeway. She then hit a Ford Explorer and backed over another sidewalk before finally crashing into a flowerpot in a gas station's parking lot.

    Biglan was charged with negligent and impeded operation of a motor vehicle, failure to use care in backing, and operating with a rejected safety inspection sticker.(LINK )

    Substituste Teacher Snorts Cocaine in Class

    In an incident that perhaps gives a new meaning to the phrase 'supply teacher', a 59-year-old substitute teacher has been arrested on suspicion of repeatedly taking cocaine in front of the class she was teaching.

    The arrest came after two girls - one nine, the other ten - reported that Joan Donatelli had been dipping a pen cap into a small plastic bag filled with white powder, then putting the pen lid to her nose.

    Police subsequently found traces of white powder in the classroom. When they confronted Donatelli at her home, she handed over a small green bag of powder and two pen caps – both of which tested positive for the drug - and admitting to using cocaine in front of the children.

    The school confirmed that Donatelli used to teach at the school full time, but is now retired, although she acts as a substitute. During her time as a full-time teacher at the school, as recently as 2004, she would have been one of the teachers involved in the school's drug education curriculum.(LINK )

    New Weapon Against Terrorism: Flipper

    SAN DIEGO (AP) -- Dozens of dolphins and sea lions trained to detect and apprehend waterborne attackers could be sent to patrol a military base in Washington state, the Navy said Monday. In a notice published in this week's Federal Register, the Navy said it needs to bolster security at Naval Base Kitsap-Bangor, on the Puget Sound close to Seattle.

    "These animals have the capabilities for what needs to be done for this particular mission," said Tom LaPuzza, a spokesman for the Marine Mammal Program. LaPuzza said that because of their astonishing sonar abilities, dolphins are excellent at patrolling for swimmers and divers. When a Navy dolphin detects a person in the water, it drops a beacon. This tells a human interception team where to find the suspicious swimmer.

    Dolphins also are trained to detect underwater mines; they were sent to do this in the Iraqi harbor of Umm Qasr in 2003. The last time the animals were used operationally in San Diego was in 1996, when they patrolled the bay during the Republican National Convention.

    Sea lions can carry in their mouths special cuffs attached to long ropes. If the animal finds a rogue swimmer, it can clamp the cuff around the person's leg. The individual can then be reeled in for questioning.(LINK )

    "Radar Love": Conversation by Song Sharing

    Searching for nearby Zunes... None found.
    Searching for nearby Zunes... None found.
    Searching for nearby Zunes... "Lola" found.

    Sending "Hello" by Lionel Richie

    Receiving "Hi There" by Killdozer

    Sending "Do You Come Here Often?" by The Tornados Ridin' the Wind

    Receiving "I Get Around" by The Beach Boys

    Sending "Welcome To The Jungle" by Guns 'N' Roses
    Sending "What Brings You Here?" by Sandra Knight

    Receiving "Dateless Losers" by Reel Big Fish(LINK )

    Chinese Paint Mountain Green

    Putting the MENTAL in Environmental:
    Laoshou mountain, near Fumin in Yunnan province, was left an eyesore by quarrying. But instead, of re-foresting the mountainside, foresty officials hired seven workers for 45 days to spraypaint it green.

    Nearby villagers have been driven from their homes by the strong smell of paint, reports City Times. They claim the workers told them the work was being done to improve the view from a newly-built government building.

    Local businessman Huang said: "At first I was glad to see the green mountain, thinking the government was paying more attention to the environment. "But then I noticed the great contrast with the surrounding mountains." Another villager complained: "We thought the workers were here to spray pesticides before planting saplings. But it turned out to be green paint."(LINK )

    February 15, 2007

    God, I Love This Woman

    Valentine's Day is never the same after marriage and kids. We often have to have our grand romantic outing the day before or after, in order to allow for our babysitters (her parents) to have an evening out themselves. But that doesn't mean that we don't give little gifts to show we care.

    Melissa has a better sense of gifting than I do. Most of the time I don't know what I'd like in terms of gifts, but she always seems to get me good stuff. Like all men in the world outside of Meg Ryan romantic comedies, I need a little nudge and hint as to what the woman likes. And God bless her, Melissa can be counted on to give me a hint a few days before Valentine's and her birthday, with all the subtlety of a Louisville Slugger. Which is EXACTLY what a forgetful sot like me needs.

    She came home from picking up Matthew from Pre-k yesterday and cunningly set "Wii Play" on top of the TV with my V-Day card. It's a second Wii Controller and 9 new mini-games for the Nintendo Wii. Between this and the classic games available for download on the Wii Virtual Console (she's playing the original "Sonic the Hedgehog" currently), Melissa is actually PLAYING VIDEO GAMES again! Woot! The games are pretty fun: An improved "Duck Hunt" shooting game, Air Hockey, Fishing, 9-Ball Billiards to name a few. We had some fun trying them out last night. And when she kicked my ass in the Fishing game, I demanded a "Wii-Match".

    (She thinks I got her a crappy 6-song Josh Groban CD from Hallmark when I bought her card, but secretly, I also got her a gift certificate to Eddie Bauer so she can get more colors in her new favorite sweater. But Shhh! Don't tell her. I'll show her later today.)

    February 13, 2007

    Now we are Five

    Just a little post on Matthew's development at Age 5, for those who haven't seen him in a while.

    - He knows quite a lot of numbers for a pre-K kid. He can count almost to 100, although he occasionally gets sidetracked ("28, 29, 20!")
    - However, his math skills still aren't there. I'll often tell him that he has 10 minutes before bedtime, and he insists "NO! Six minutes!" "Allright, Six, you drive a hard bargain." "YAY!"
    - He speaks fairly well, but he pronounces "Yellow" as "LLELLOW"
    - Lower case letters are also a problem. He sees his name written as "Matthew" and insists that the lower "a" is a "q". We argue almost every night about this.
    - He is currently playing "Kingdom Hearts 2" on my PlayStation2 BY HIMSELF. He knows how to navigate the sub-menus, how to save his game, switch out his weapons, everything. Only occasionally will I be asked to come take care of a Boss.
    - His favorite characters are Tow Mater and "Lighting Queen" from CARS.
    - I put a mix CD together, with all kinds of random stuff on it, including A Cappella music, and Matthew likes to listen to it in the car. His favorites include :
  • "Spontaneous Human Combustion" by The Bobs (I hope I don't have to explain why he knows the word "Cremation" to his teachers...)
  • "Stuck in the Middle With You" and "Magic Kingdom in the Sky" by Da Vinci's Notebook
  • "Suds in the Bucket" by Sara Evans
  • The "Gravitaion" anime soundtrack with Japanese lyrics. (He sings along phonetically with some of the choruses)
    He knows all these songs by number...as well as the numbers of his favorite songs on OTHER CDs in the car.
    - After his hour of games are over for the day, he breaks out the Memory Cards game. (Flip over two, try to match the pictures.) He usually beats Melissa and I 4 games to 1.
  • February 12, 2007

    5th Birthday Wrap-up

    We asked Matthew what kind of decorations he wanted for his birthday, and gave him a whole "Birthday Express" catalog. What did he pick? John Deere Tractors.
    Tractor Birthday

    Melissa bought a $35 "Train Cake" pan from Willaims Sonoma. Add in Mom-in-Law Brenda's cake decorating skill and Voila!. Each kid got a "car". MMMmmmmmm.
    Train Cake

    After meeting up at McDonalds for lunch, the group caravan'd back to our house for cake & Presents. We would have had the whole party at McD's, but they provide a cake with Red & Yellow food dye in it, which makes Matthew flip out. True to our hypothesis: This year he had no meltdowns and no hitting, unlike past years where he had colored birthday cakes. He was much more calm this year, and seemed to enjoy himself more.
    Matthew's 5th Birthday

    He got some great gifts, like a "Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron" game and we got him the "Tractor Tipper" from the movie "CARS". It was his favorite scene, and we believe the reason he wanted tractor decorations for his birthday in the first place.

    After opening the presents, the kids made for Matthew's room, where they promptly emptied his toy chest and attempted to play with EVERYTHING for 10 seconds each.
    Post-Party Crowd

    February 09, 2007

    LinkNews Digest [02/09/2007]

    "The Hoohaa Monologues" Open in Fla.

    ATLANTIC BEACH, Fla. -- A modified marquee in Atlantic Beach has been drawing some attention. "Hoohaa" replaced a word in the title of a play after a driver complained about finding the previous wording offensive.

    The marquis for Atlantic Theaters advertises a number of plays including, the Masquerade Ball, Band Jam, and now The Hoohaa Monologues. Some said hoohaa is a strange word and that its definition depends on its context, while others said it sounds like a country band. However, it's not a band at all. In fact, most people know hoohah by a different name -- vagina.

    "We got a complaint about this play The Vagina Monologues," said Bryce Pfanenstiel, of the Atlantic Theater." The Hoohah Monologues is a replacement title for The Vagina Monologues -- a well-known play about that part of the female body.

    "We decided we would just use child slang for it. That's how we decided on Hoohah Monologues," Pfanenstiel said. They did this after a driver who saw it complained to the theater, saying she was upset that her niece saw it. "I'm on the phone and asked 'What did you tell her?' She's like, 'I'm offended I had to answer the question,'" Pfanenstiel said.(LINK )

    U.S. Sent $4 Billion in Cash to Baghdad on Pallettes

    Feb 6, 2007 - WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Federal Reserve sent record payouts of more than $4 billion in cash to Baghdad on giant pallets aboard military planes shortly before the United States gave control back to Iraqis, lawmakers said on Tuesday.

    The money, which had been held by the United States, came from Iraqi oil exports, surplus dollars from the U.N.-run oil-for-food program and frozen assets belonging to the ousted Saddam Hussein regime.

    Bills weighing a total of 363 tons were loaded onto military aircraft in the largest cash shipments ever made by the Federal Reserve, said Rep. Henry Waxman, chairman of the House of Representatives Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.

    "Who in their right mind would send 363 tons of cash into a war zone? But that's exactly what our government did," the California Democrat said during a hearing reviewing possible waste, fraud and abuse of funds in Iraq. On December 12, 2003, $1.5 billion was shipped to Iraq, initially "the largest pay out of U.S. currency in Fed history," according to an e-mail cited by committee members. It was followed by more than $2.4 billion on June 22, 2004, and $1.6 billion three days later. The CPA turned over sovereignty on June 28.

    The special inspector general for Iraqi reconstruction, Stuart Bowen, said in a January 2005 report that $8.8 billion was unaccounted for after being given to the Iraqi ministries.

    "We were in the middle of a war, working in very difficult conditions, and we had to move quickly to get this Iraqi money working for the Iraqi people," Bremer told lawmakers. He said there was no banking system and it would have been impossible to apply modern accounting standards in the midst of a war. (LINK )

    Good TV?: Watching Cheese Mold

    LONDON - As pastimes go it is in the same league as watching paint dry, with perhaps a frisson of extra excitement.

    English firm West Country Farmhouse Cheesemakers has turned a web camera on a rack of its maturing cheddar cheeses to give aficionados a chance to watch in real time the slow process of mould growth for a whole year and without having to leave home.

    "It puts watching paint dry in the shade. If you happen to tune in at the right time you will even get to see them being turned," a company spokeswoman told Reuters by telephone.

    Already nearly 49,000 people have clicked on to CheddarVision.tv to enjoy the thrill.(LINK, Thanks, Maggie. )

    February 05, 2007

    Oh, the Humanity!

    Someone please tell me they weren't full!!!

    February 02, 2007

    LinkNews Digest [02/02/2007]

    Python Makes Meal of 11 Guard Dogs

    KUALA LUMPUR, Jan 26 (Reuters Life!) - Guard dogs protecting a fruit orchard in Malaysia have met their match -- a 7.1-metre-long (23-ft-long) python that swallowed at least 11 hounds before it was finally discovered by villagers.

    "I was shocked to see such a huge python," orchard-keeper Ali Yusof told the New Straits Times in an article published beneath a picture of the captured snake, which was almost long enough to span the width of a tennis court and as thick as a tree trunk.

    Villagers did not harm the snake, which was tied to a tree then handed to wildlife officials, the paper said on Friday. (LINK )

    Bitter Girlfriend Fatally Sabotages Other Woman's Parachute

    A married woman who was having an affair with a fellow skydiver plunged 13,000ft (4,000m) to her death after her love rival and best friend tampered with her parachute, police say.

    Els Van Doren, 37, fell to earth in a garden in front of a group of onlookers. Els Clottemans, 22, has been charged with her murder. Minutes earlier the pair had joined hands in a star formation with two other skydivers including Ms Clottemans’s boyfriend, a Dutchman named only as Marcel, who police say was having an affair with Mrs Van Doren.

    While he and Ms Clottemans broke away at 4,000ft when their parachutes inflated, Mrs Van Doren, a mother of two, was unable to open either her main parachute or the reserve and crashed to her death in the town of Opglabbeek, Belgium. Her final moments were filmed by her own head-mounted camera.

    Police say that video footage taken by Mrs Van Doren as she tried to open her parachute provided evidence that led them to suspect that a fellow club member had sabotaged the equipment. A spokesman said: "A close inspection of the parachutes leads us to believe they had been meddled with." An employee at the airfield in Zwarteberg added: "It is very rare for one parachute not to open, but for two to fail is virtually unheard of." (LINK )

    Eagle's Eyes Prove Larger Than Its Freight Capacity

    JUNEAU, Alaska - About 10,000 Juneau residents briefly lost power after a bald eagle lugging a deer head crashed into transmission lines.

    "You have to live in Alaska to have this kind of outage scenario," said Gayle Wood, an Alaska Electric Light & Power spokeswoman. "This is the story of the overly ambitious eagle who evidently found a deer head in the landfill."

    The bird, weighed down by the deer head, apparently failed to clear the transmission lines, she said. A repair crew found the eagle dead, the deer head nearby.(LINK )

    Viagra-Spiked Wine Nearly Kills Husband

    An Italian man keeled over with a heart attack and almost died after his wife slipped Viagra pills into his wine hoping it would improve his performance in bed.

    Fifty-five-year-old construction worker Frederico di Angelino from Frosinone in central Italy said: 'I had been under stress because of my job for quite a while and my 50-year-old wife felt a bit abandoned.

    'She tried to secretly give me a bit of extra "motivation" in bed with two pills of Viagra in a glass of wine.' He was treated by doctors who confirmed he had suffered a massive heart attack. Di Angelino added: 'I'm not angry with her over it.' (LINK )

    Obi-Wan's Robe To Be Auctioned

    {PHOTO} The cloak worn by Sir Alec Guinness in Star Wars, along with Madonna's dresses from Evita and several of James Bond's suits are to go under the hammer.

    Costumes from productions including the Indiana Jones films, Titanic and Doctor Who will also be auctioned on 6 March. Some 350 lots are being sold by London-based costume maker Angels. Bonhams auctioneers said the cloak was expected to surpass its £50,000 reserve price. Guinness, who played Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars, died in 2000.

    The true value of Guinness's cloak was not appreciated for some years after the film and it was available for hire as part of a monk's costume. Another surprise was found in the pocket of third Doctor Who John Pertwee's jacket in the form of an original sonic screwdriver - in reality a silver pen with a toothpaste cap glued to it. (LINK )

    The Threat of Cartoons

    Every so often, something in the news makes it utterly apparent that America, as a nation, is doomed to fall in the near future. Yesterday, that thing was the city of Boston freaking out and bringing the city to a standstill over somefreaking LED pictures of an "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" character. People saw that "the devices were suspicious" and had "ominous-looking wires" and "visible batteries". It was actually a guerilla ad campaign for the "Aqua Teen" movie, just some LED signs of a "Mooninite" character put up on some bridges by a couple of local artists.

    The entire city of Boston grinds to a halt over a goddamned LITE BRITE. How can we seriously say that we're ready for a terrorist attack, if we can't even handle ADVERTISING?

    Britain just foiled another terrorist kidnapping plot that was an actual threat to society. What can we claim? We shut down a major city to keep citizens safe from cartoon ads. That and the 15 or so hobos we arrested in Florida last year that had no weapons, no plan, and no means of doing anything but saying they hated the country. Maybe there's an upside to this Monarchy thing after all.

    The two artists, paid a meager $300 to put up the signs, have now been arrested and forced to pay $2500 bail to await their hearing on charges of placing a hoax device that results in panic and disorderly conduct." Wait a minute, THEY are getting some trumped-up charges of disorderly conduct and fined thousands of dollars when the CITY was the one who blocked up the streets, brought its own commerce to a standstill, and called in hundreds of special forces and bomb squad units to "disarm" the signs? These guys are guilty of nothing more than simple Vandalism, placing art (albeit commercial) on public property without permission. What the city did about is is their own damned fault.

    The cry has gone up: "FREE THE MOONINITE TWO!"