July 14, 2006

LinkNews Digest [07/14/2006]

"Ride the Lightning"... Not The Other Way Around

Castle Rock - Jason Bunch was listening to Metallica on his iPod while mowing the lawn outside his Castle Rock home Sunday afternoon when lightning hit him.

The last thing the 17-year-old remembers was that a storm was coming from the north and he had only about 15 minutes before he should go inside. Next thing he knew, he was in his bed, bleeding from his ears and vomiting. He was barefoot and had taken off his burned T-shirt and gym shorts. He doesn't know how he got back in the house.

Bunch immediately called his mother, who was in Illinois visiting family. "Mom, I think I was hit by lightning," he said. Bunch was taken to Sky Ridge Medical Center and placed in intensive care. He was sent home Tuesday.

"I'm alive, and that is what I am grateful for," Bunch said as he lay in bed Wednesday.

Bunch's ears were burned on the inside, and he's lost some hearing, mostly on the right side. His hair was singed. His face, chest, hands and right leg have freckle-size welts on them as if buckshot had come from inside his body out.

The wounds follow the line of his iPod, from his ears down his right side to his hip, where he was carrying the device. The iPod has a hole in the back, and the earbuds dissolved into green threads. (LINK )

Ned Flanders was Un-Diddly-Vailable for Comment

Two girls, aged 17 and 18, have been banned from a church festival after they flashed their breasts to a ride operator so that they could stay on it longer. The operator gave the girls an extra twenty minutes on the ride.

Police were called following the incident, and the two girls have admitted to the lewd act. The incident, which occurred at the Our Lady of the Greenwood Catholic Church festival happened when most festivel goers had gone home.

Rev. Jonathan Meyer said that "It’s a shame these young women didn’t know the great gift and beauty they have as a woman. The body is sacred and holy. We should be sad for them." No charges were filed. (LINK )

Arrested Development Movie in the Works

There's a small glimmer of hope that we'll all see the Bluths again, and not just in reruns on DVDs. In an interview with TVGuide, actress Alia Shawkat ("Maeby") confirmed that there is talk of doing an Arrested Development movie. She didn't say a lot--probably because the interview was actually about her role in an upcoming Lifetime movie--but she did say that creator Mitch Hurwitz is in talks with Ron Howard about moving to the big screen. That was all hinted at in the series finale when Shawkat's character tried to sell the rights to the Bluth's story to Howard. (LINK )

New Symptom of Media: "Netflix Guilt"

"City of God," the award-winning 2002 Miramax film about the slums of Rio de Janeiro, is the most expensive film I’ve never watched. By my calculation, it cost me $66. I hear it’s great.

Perhaps you’re familiar with the following dynamic: film is highly recommended; film appeals to intellectual and aesthetic sensibilities; film is added to the Netflix queue, and soon appears in the mail in that unassuming but somehow pushy red-striped envelope. Temperament, timing and ambiance is never quite right for film’s subject matter, in this case, brutal and depressing. Film sits on TV for a year, taking up valuable space on Netflix queue and inflicting pangs of guilt and regret. Said intellectual and aesthetic sensibilities are called into question when "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" is watched and quickly returned.

I had "City of God" in my possession for 11 months, during which I paid $18 a month for a three-DVD-at-a-time Netflix subscription. Finally, I returned the movie in defeat while delusionally re-adding it to the end of my queue. By that time, my wife and I were talking about a dangerous new force in our lives: Netflix guilt.

Trexel told me that "Netflix guilt" was actually a subject of conversation at the company’s Los Gatos, Calif., headquarters. "We had a running joke with one colleague. He had a movie about the first Persian Gulf War, 'Three Kings,' out for so long that we teased him that the U.S. had actually gone back to war with Iraq during the time that he had it."(LINK )

New Product of the Week: Horse Head Pillow

Revenge is a dish best served stuffed: Another Kropserkel original!
A custom severed horse head plush that is actually quite comfortable to sleep on, albeit a tad on the south side of morbid.

A great conversation piece for the wannabe wise guy who has everything, and whose wife won't let them own a revolver. For that matter, something for the authentic wise guy with a soft side for the well being of animals. A great home theatre accessory as a tough guy's Teddy bear, aimed squarely at those with a diabolical sense of humor. Fans of the mob's harsh brand of communication can now unite and rest comfortably, if not uneasily. Send someone a message they will never forget!

Finally, a gift you can send to your 'frienemies'. For the recipient, there will be no misunderstanding that you want them to get a better sleep...A better sleep with the fishes that is.

The horse head plush is the perfect reminder of the mistake they once made in wronging you, or for someone who just needs a good shaking up.(LINK )
(Thanks to Justin)

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