April 07, 2006

LinkNews Digest [04/07/2006]

What A Long, Strange Dump It's Been

SONOMA, California - The long, strange trip continues for Jerry Garcia's toilet. Police say the Grateful Dead leader's commode was stolen recently from a driveway along with three other toilets and a bidet, The Press Democrat newspaper reported Saturday.

Garcia's salmon-colored toilet was the subject of a legal battle before it was finally moved to Sonoma, to await shipment to a Canadian casino. It's unclear if the toilet was swiped by a wayward Deadhead or a thief remodeling a bathroom. Police have no suspects or leads.

Last month, Koltys sold the Grateful Dead singer's toilet for $2,550 to online casino Goldenpalace.com, which planned to use it as part of a traveling marketing exhibit. The casino is offering a $250 reward for its return.

Henry Koltys said Friday that the toilet once stood in the master bathroom of Garcia, who died in 1995 at age 53. "It would have been his personal head," he said. (LINK )

Bomb Squad Called on Super Mario Blocks

Five girls from Ravenna, Ohio placed 17 cardboard replications of the Super Mario power-up cubes throughout their town. The town has a population of approximately 12,000 people, some of which felt threatened by the power-up cubes and called in the bomb squad.

Here is a funny quote from a local newspaper that reported the incident:

"The girls found an Internet site called Mario Question Blocks which told you step by step how the game is played, along with instructions on wrapping the packages, just to see what kind of response you get," McCoy said. "This game is evidently being played all over the country."
- recordpub.com

The girls apparently did this as an April fool’s joke. I don’t think that they will end up in any trouble but police are looking into pressing charges. They didn’t threaten anyone, they just left some cool boxes scattered around their town.
(LINK via Digg.com)

Ecologist Suggests Using Ebola to Destroy 90% of Humans

...I watched in amazement as a few hundred members of the Texas Academy of Science rose to their feet and gave a standing ovation to a speech that enthusiastically advocated the elimination of 90 percent of Earth's population by airborne Ebola. The speech was given by Dr. Eric R. Pianka , the University of Texas evolutionary ecologist and lizard expert who the Academy named the 2006 Distinguished Texas Scientist.

Professor Pianka said the Earth as we know it will not survive without drastic measures. Then, and without presenting any data to justify this number, he asserted that the only feasible solution to saving the Earth is to reduce the population to 10 percent of the present number.

AIDS is not an efficient killer, he explained, because it is too slow. His favorite candidate for eliminating 90 percent of the world's population is airborne Ebola ( Ebola Reston ), because it is both highly lethal and it kills in days, instead of years. However, Professor Pianka did not mention that Ebola victims die a slow and torturous death as the virus initiates a cascade of biological calamities inside the victim that eventually liquefy the internal organs.
When Pianka finished his remarks, the audience applauded. It wasn't merely a smattering of polite clapping that audiences diplomatically reserve for poor or boring speakers. It was a loud, vigorous and enthusiastic applause. (LINK via Digg, also From his Personal Page)

Popular Science: Studies Confirm the Obvious!

Every year, serious scientists undertake detailed, rigorous studies to prove things that seem, well, painfully obvious. Why bother? We reviewed scores of unshocking discoveries and asked the researchers who conducted the work to explain their motivations. Two main themes emerged. First, scientists don’t assume how the world works; they test it. Common knowledge once held that meat spontaneously generated maggots. Then, in 1668, Italian physician Francesco Redi devised a set of investigative steps--what we now call an experiment--to prove wrong what everybody thought they knew.
  1. Combining Drugs and Alcohol is Bad For You
  2. Gun-Toting Drivers are More Prone to Road Rage
  3. Too Many Meetings Make You Grumpy
  4. Faraway Objects Are Tougher to See
  5. The Beer-Google Effect is a Bona Fide
  6. Swallowing More Than One Magnet is Dangerous
  7. Smoking Cigarettes Costs You Money
  8. Memory and Concentration Fade With Age
  9. Women Like Funny Men
  10. Time Flies When You're Busy

Invention of the Week: Scrolling LED Oxford

What better way to declare to the world that you're not only upwardly-mobile, but also tech savvy? With a few hours of programming the thing, you can become a walking CNN/Fox News scroller! It might also work as a subliminal suggestion tool if you keep the LED scroll in people's peripheral vision ("YOU WILL GIVE ME A RAISE..."). Or Ladies can send the usual message ("My eyes are up HERE, creep!") (LINK )

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