January 19, 2006

LinkNews Digest [01/19/2006]

Chuck Norris Update

Mr. Norris respons to "The Facts" on his site, and plugs his book:
I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris

Also, we have A Bad Video of Tony Danza reading "Chuck Norris Facts" to Mr. Norris

Man Jailed for Hitman Non-Performance

A 53-year-old woman was so depressed and desperate to end her life that she agreed to pay a friend to arrange for a hitman to kill her, a court heard. Christine Ryder ended up handing over a total of £20,000 to Kevin Reeves after he agreed to murder her himself.

But Reeves, 40, of Saltings Road, Snodland, near Rochester, failed to keep his side of the bargain and she shopped him to the police. Now he has been jailed for 15 months after being convicted of deception.

A judge told the married father: "While it is clear you had no intention of arranging for someone to kill Mrs Ryder and didn’t propose to yourself, you deceived her into believing it would happen."
Mrs Ryder gave Reeves a cheque for the amount and it was paid into his account. He told her she would be killed in a drive-by shooting on June 11 2003. But shortly before, he telephoned her and cancelled it. "He later said he had to kill the hitman and the money had gone to his widow," said the prosecutor. "Mrs Ryder was desperate to end her life, so she asked Mr Reeves if he himself would kill her.

"He agreed but said it would cost £10,000. She gave him a cheque but there was no further contact for some time. When he eventually contacted her, he said the money had been taken by his bank because he was a bankrupt.(LINK )

Stephen King's "The Dark Half" Becomes Reality

A 35-year-old tractor operator, Igor Namyatov, has undergone surgery to be relieved of what had initially been diagnosed as a tumor, but turned out to be the embryo of his unborn twin brother, the Komsomolskaya Pravda daily reported Monday.

Doctors said the embryo belonged to Namyatov’s unborn brother who had spent 35 years in the body of the patient. The "little brother" first made himself known when Igor was 15. At that time the boy complained about pains in his back, but doctors played down his complaints saying it was only a harmless fatty tumor.

Twenty years later the pains came back. The doctors decided to operate at once. They were genuinely surprised to see that the tumor was in fact an embryo with little legs and hands.
And the caring, fostering community that he came from expressed their... disappointment?
Namyatov’s fellow villagers doubted the explanation given by the doctors. Some even surmised the object removed from Namyatov’s body was an extraterrestrial organism. "It is a pity they have removed it. They should have waited to see what would become of it later on. That would have been a great scientific find," one of the villagers said. (LINK )

NoDuh Research: "TV in the Bedroom Decreases Libido

A study by an Italian sexologist has found that couples who have a TV set in their bedroom have sex half as often as those who don't.
"If there's no television in the bedroom, the frequency (of sexual intercourse) doubles," said Serenella Salomoni whose team of psychologists questioned 523 Italian couples to see what effect television had on their sex lives.

On average, Italians who live without TV in the bedroom have sex twice a week, or eight times a month. This drops to an average of four times a month for those with a TV, the study found.For the over-50s the effect is even more marked, with the average of seven couplings a month falling to just 1.5 times.
Just in time for this study's publication, a company called Hypnos has released "The Ultimate TV Bed", A bed frame with a flat Panel TV that pops up right out of the footboard! Now you don't even need to get out of bed to get the remote! I wouldn't call it "Ultimate" though, until they eliminate ANY need to get your ass out of bed, by working in a chamberpot system and a mini-fridge.

Volkswagen Concept "Motorcycle"

"Three wheels, two seats, and off you go in the carpool lane"

Just premiered at the Los Angeles Auto Show. Classified as a motorcycle, this peculiar little two-seater has two wheels in the front a one in the back. Combining the efficiency and pep of a motorcycle with the stability of a small car, the GX3 could be a great personal mobility option. VW claims it can get 46 mpg in the city, and can do 0-60 mph in 5.7 seconds. Yes, it is a concept car, but VW claims they are seriously considering production if customer interest is sufficient. They would go for about $17,000 or less. Yes, you would need your motorcycle license; yes, you would need to wear a helmet; and yes, you could drive in the carpool lane. (LINK )

Satanist Runs for Minnesota Governor

Minnesota gubernatorial candidate Jonathan Sharkey prefers to be known as "the Impaler". Like other politicians, he worships Satan, but Sharkey "doesn't hide his dark side." He claims to speak for the "Vampyres, Witches and Pagans," political party, and most likely does so in a scary-monster voice. He promises that if he's elected, he will impale terrorists on pikes.

Of all the photos on Mr. Sharkey's candicacy website, this is my favorite. The sword says "forceful," the white home siding and unkempt grass says "America," and the long hair and Celtic batik wrap say "Rock and Roll, hoochie coo." That's my kind of overlord. Oh, and happy Friday the Thirteenth! (LINK via BoingBoing.net )
I guess he figured that after a professional Wrestler, the state was ready for anything.

No comments:

Post a Comment