July 05, 2005

From "Bud" to Worse

Budweiser will be introducing a new beer hybrid called B^E, which is essentially Beer crossed with Red Bull. The Company Line:
Anheuser-Busch is the first major brewer to infuse beer with caffeine, guarana and ginseng. Well balanced with select hops and aromas of blackberry, raspberry and cherry, BE will offer a lightly sweet and tart taste - a great mixture of beer and new flavors for adults to enjoy when out with friends at a club or at a bar after work with colleagues.

The marketing formula goes like this: If you don't pass out (one of nature's ways of keeping you from consuming too much alcohol), you can buy more beer. Just what America needs: Drunks with more energy, able to consume greater quantities of beer in a single sitting. Thus creating a population of alcoholic supermen! (Insert evil laughter here.)

While packaged in a slightly diminutive 10-ounce can, the beer boasts a relatively high alcohol content of 6.6% by volume. Add the Guarana and Ginseng to the mix and you've got a nice stimulant to counteract the depressant. A pedestrian dose of Crystal Meth and Downers.

Was there a flood of customer mail to A-B saying "Beer is good, don't get me wrong. But what we need is something that makes me MORE rowdy and belligerent when they're drunk, and if possible, also keeps them this way longer. Kind of like viagra for alcohol."

When an idea starts off this bad, it can only go downhill from there.

1 comment:

  1. budweiser E, is one amazing drink. I am not a huge fan of beer, i will drink it tailgating and what not simply beacuse well... who cracks out a bottle of grey goose before the big game? i love the taste, simply because its much sweeter and not the basic taste of beer. Plus its got a great kick. If you like energy drinks and alcohol, try a Bud^E next time you hang out at the bar. Its worth it :).