May 18, 2005

Star Wars Linky Thing

In anticipation of tomorrow's release of Star Wars - Episode III, proudly presents The Obligatory Star Wars Link Post Presents: How A Lightsaber Works

Compete with product warnings:
Important Safety Information : A lightsaber is not a toy! Keep it out of reach of children at all times. Lightsaber locks are required in most states.

There are two ends to any lightsaber -- one end has the belt ring, while the other end houses the blade arc tip and blade emitter. NEVER point the blade emitter of a lightsaber toward your own body. NEVER look down the "barrel" of a lightsaber, even if you are "sure" it is in safe mode. If you accidentally activate the lightsaber, serious injury could result.

The pics are also well done:
"The big advantage of using a lightsaber, of course, is that you can both cut and toast the bagel in one stroke."

The Jar-Jar Comspiracy by Noel Wood

I have a theory, and the more I think of it, the more it makes sense: Jar Jar Binks was a mere distraction. He was a patsy. Nothing but a diversion from the real problems at hand. That’s all Jar Jar was intended to ever be. George Lucas knew that he had a stinker of a movie in his hands; so to avoid people relentlessly picking it apart, he threw Jar Jar in front of the firing squad as a bulletstopper. And considering the general consensus of “Jar Jar ruined Star Wars”, it looks like his mission was accomplished. (LINK for full review) See Also: Guide to Inconsequential Star Wars Characters

SW-EPIII Premier Reportedly Lame

$500 for a no-show of Samuel L. Jackson, an "Intergalactic" After-Party featuring Cardboard cutouts of the stars, and a Dollar-Tree Gift Bag:
The gift bag was the most insulting part of the evening. A gift bag that was described in a press release as containing "Star Wars merchandise and other special gifts" only contained the following:

1. A bag from reebok to hold the gifts
2. A light up lightsaber spoon that is found in Kellogs Cereal boxes
3. A Burger King Star Wars kid's toy
4. A single package of Star Wars fruit snacks
5. A small bag of Starbucks Coffee
6. A small tin of Starbucks mints
7. A coupon for a free whopper at Burger King
8. A discount card for 20% off at Kenneth Cole
9. A cd from an undiscovered singer
10. A bottle of marinara Sauce
11. A lipstick
12. A box of tea

Out of all the items only 3 were even Star Wars related and all were items that cost a dollar or less. Considering most fans are male, why would we need a lipstick? What is so special about a bag of Starbucks Coffee? Who ever made these gift bags did not make them for the Star Wars fans who attended this event. (LINK) via

The Star Wars "Last Supper"

  • A callback to "Hardware Wars": The Organic Food Association's (Grocery) "Store Wars". Complete with Obi-Wan Cannoli and ChewBroccoli
  • Lego Star Wars for the PS2
  • "How the Sith Stole Christmas" (video)
  • Quentin Tarantino's Star Wars (video)
  • "American Jedi" (American Pie meets...well, you know. (video)
  • Kevin Spacey's Star Wars Auditions (video) [iFilm is about 90% SW apparently]
  •'s SW Fan Film Spotlight (George's favorite: "For Love of the Film")
  • George Lucas, For the Record, did NOT base Anakin's character on Bush
  • "Slave Girl Leia" Pet Outfit (shudder)
  • The Darth Vader Lawn Sprinkler: "Let the Dark Side defend your lawn from the ravages of summer heat or cool you off on a hot day with this Darth Vader sprinkler! Standing 10" tall, this great new Vader sprinkler spins around with water spraying action, wielding his lightsaber in a furious battle to save your lawn!" (via
  • "Luke Skywalker: Dork by Destiny" An Essay
  • Top 11 Bastardized Star Wars Quotes. (Favorite: "Ani, do you like movies about Jedi Knights?")
    Star Wars Chicks The fluffy, feminine underbelly of the SW Geek fanbase. Complete with FanFics and pink color scheme.
  • Star Wars Origami
  • The "Star Wars Kid" vs. The Matrix Video
  • The *ahem* Imperial Scout Walker Kama Sutra (slightly NSFW)
  •'s Top 46 SW Humor Bits
  • The Han Solo in Carbonite, done with Legos.
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