April 26, 2005

Whole Lotta Jesus

Here's an original hypothesis in "Communion Math": If transubstantiation (The wafer and wine turn into Christ's own flesh and blood) is real, then Jesus must have an awful lot of flesh and blood to have been used as sacrament so very many times:

If you conservatively assume that these are the End Times and that Jesus will soon be completely consumed (a detail that I do not believe is a part of mainstream Christian dogma), then he weighs two billion times more than you, and contains fourteen billion times as much blood. (2,028,252,833× and 14,375,000,000×).
By comparison, the largest living animal on Earth is the Blue Whale, at a paltry 150 tons (a mere 2,500× bigger than you). It is believed that the largest dinosaur, the Argentinosaurus, weighed only 90 tons.

However, perhaps Jesus, like Wolverine, has amazing regenerative powers (in which case, it's surprising it took him three days to return from the dead. But maybe he was just taking a little time-out.) LINK (via BoingBoing.net)
Making Jesus like Wolverine? I think they're on to something here!


  1. Yeah, you're going to hell for that one.

  2. but...then would small bits of adamantium become the "new eucharist"?