March 29, 2005

"The Arms of Chivas"

A college student IM's a random stranger on the internet and asks him to write her paper for $75. Little did she know that she had contacted a sketch comedian with a sick sense of humor. Some excerpts from the paper he wrote:
The caste system is based upon the principle that human society is like a huge, complex machine, with the individuals and communities being like its parts. If the parts are weak and broken, the machine will not work. The body can only work efficiently if its parts and organs are in sound and strong condition. And lubricated. But if there is pain in any part of the body, if there is disease in any organ or part of the body, this human machine will go out of order
...
The highest class is the Brahmans, the priestly class. Their dharma is to study and understand the Vedas, Hindu’s holy texts, and bring this knowledge to others. The second class is the Kshatriya, the warrior class, who acted as the protectors of the peace. I made a doody.
...
Karma, which follows you throughout your many lifetimes, determines which class you will be in for any given lifetime. You may be demoted to an animal, reallocated within the class structure, or even elevated to a deity. Your actions in each lifetime affect your karma, and if a Shudra watches dharma and greg, it will have a positive effect on his karma, perhaps elevating him into a class in which she will be allowed to study the Vedas and progress along its spiritual path.
The author sent the paper to the girl, found the school that she was attending, and e-mailed the president of the university, informing him about her plagiarism. (LINK for the full story)

1 comment:

  1. Chivas? Like the Scotch? Or do you mean Shiva, the Hindu goddess of destruction?

    ReplyDelete