July 08, 2004

LinkNews Digest [7/9/2004]

iPods a Security Risk, says Idiot

Companies should consider banning portable storage devices such as Apple's iPod from corporate networks, as they can be used to introduce malware or steal corporate data, according to an analyst.

Small portable storage products can bypass perimeter defenses like firewalls and introduce malware such as Trojans or viruses onto company networks, research company Gartner said in a report issued this week.

Analysts have warned for some time of the dangers of using portable devices, but the report points out these also now include "disk-based MP3 players, such as Apple's iPod, and digital cameras with smart media cards, memory sticks, compact flash and other memory media."

Yes, by all means, let's ban this vicious thing called external storage! Floppy Disks can hold company files, so ban them. And an employee's music collection could instead be installation CD's for SCREENSAVERS and other resource-sapping software, so ban those too!

The Internet! DAMN YOU, TIM BERNERS-LEE!! You've paved the way for Hackers to our doorstep! Employees can SEND FILES and COMMUNICATE while they're at WORK, so let's shut that down. Employees working from home on company laptops? I don't think so!! Effective immediately, all employees will report to work in fingerprint-locked surveillance cubicles loaded with keystroke-logging programs.

Telephones can be used to spread vital company information, so they're right out. And remember that the US Mail delivered Anthrax to a few senators once, so that's ANOTHER security risk.

Further security announcements will be made later this week when the new Morse Code wires are installed at the satellite offices. Management over and out.

Spam to End Within 2 Years, say Other Idiots

The global battle against spammers who use the Internet to disseminate pornography, distribute unsolicited sales pitches and engage in the new menace of "phishing" can be won in two years, officials running a three-day U.N. meeting told a news conference.

"If we don't work together," said Robert Shaw, Internet strategy expert with the United Nations' International Telecommunications Union (ITU), "we may see millions of people abandoning the Net entirely, out of frustration and disgust."

"If we achieve full international cooperation among governments and software companies, this plague, which affects so many of us in our everyday life, will be defeated in short order," said Robert Horton, Australia's top regulator.

He said that software makers and regulators have the means to bring spam under control within two years.

Horton, whose country has developed some of the most advanced legislation to fight the spam clogging private and corporate e-mail boxes around the world, said he hoped the gathering would produce a draft agreement on solutions.

Let me get this straight. The UN can unite against people filling my Email with ads for Viagra, but not terrorists?

Kerry Picks ...Gephardt?

In a scoop-gone-bad reminiscent of the infamous 1948 "Dewey Defeats Truman" headline snafu, the New York Post declared Dick Gephardt to be Democratic front-runner John Kerry's VP pick. Kerry released his decision to run with John Edwards that morning, after the papers had gone to press.
"KERRY'S CHOICE," read the headline over the page one "exclusive" story. "Dem picks Gephardt as VP candidate." The story, which ran without a byline, was accompanied by a file photo of the Missouri congressman and the Massachusetts senator.

But then Kerry announced his real choice Tuesday morning: North Carolina Sen. John Edwards.

Post editor in chief Col Allan said in a statement that he made the decision to go with the Gephardt story based on information that turned out to be inaccurate. He did not elaborate.

An apology"We unreservedly apologize to our readers for the mistake," Allan said. The paper's Web site replaced the Gephardt report with a story by The Associated Press on Kerry's actual choice.

Bush Beats Bin Laden, Stalin for Most Disliked Person Poll

BUDAPEST (Reuters) - President Bush is disliked by more Hungarian secondary school children than former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden, according to an opinion poll published on Wednesday.

The survey of 34,000 students, aged 16-18, from 655 high schools showed Adolf Hitler was the most disliked foreign personality with 25 percent of the vote, followed by Bush with 23 percent and Bin Laden with 16 percent.

Bush was even more unpopular than former Soviet dictator Josef Stalin, according to the poll.

A 639-year Organ Concert

The sound of an E and E-sharp rang out of an abandoned German church yesterday. They were the latest organ notes in a musical piece that will take another 636 years to finish playing. Avant-garde composer John Cage (1912-1992) composed Organ2/ASLSP in 1985. The title comes from the tempo Cage had in mind when the work would be played: "as slow as possible." This performance at St. Burchardi Church in Halberstadt began September 5, 2001, but until last February the only sound was the building's natural ambience. Since then, a total of five notes have been played.

No comments:

Post a Comment