March 12, 2004

My Time of the Month
I have always believed that men are affected by PMS. Not just that we're usually the receiveing END of it, but also that we experience something akin to it ourselves. It comes in two forms; Regular Male PMS, where you are grumpy and upset for no apparent reason, and Anti-PMS, where you feel absolutely GREAT for a few days, and there's no apparent reason. Last night, I had the regular Male PMS.

I can't say why, I just was in a foul mood. Melissa picked up on it and kept asking me what was wrong, and I answered "nothing" honestly. Nothing on my mind, nothing bothering me, nothing going on last night, I was just grumpy. I was just as clueless as she was on this one. Later that night we got into an argument and my Male PMS all came out. It was a pointless argument, so I'll spare you the details. Reading the mental transcript of last night, Melissa wasn't insulting me but what she was saying was just making me angry somehow.

A confusing ping-pong match of words continued for a couple of minutes until I was able to clear my head and walk away, in an attempt to defuse the argument. I returned to the living room at her request, not eager to get back into the fray, but she just sat there grinning. She knew it was Male PMS.

We made bad jokes at each other, laughed away the remainder of the anger and then it was over. We've learned that even anger can be funny, if it's absurd enough. For two absolute goofballs like Melissa and I, laughter is the spark in our life, as well as the wet blanket on any inflamatory argument. We seldom get into arguments, but we always end them laughing. Laughter after a fight is like a cup of sherbert after a spicy meal: It cleanses the pallete of all the stuff that came before, and you can start fresh on the next course.

If I'm feeling the same way tonight, I'll probably raid Melissa's stash of Midol.

For thousands of years, people has looked to the stars for inspiration and wonder. The night sky's unspoiled celestial beauty as spurned great scientific breakthoughs that we would never have even pondered, had we not been looking up to the heavens. But like every other thing of beauty that people look at, some schlep wants sell ad space and make money off it. Enter Alexander Lavrynov, who has just patented a device that could turn the night sky into the world's largest beer commercial.

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